THE BIG PICTURE: This week on Jerry Springer, "F1 Teammate Beat Down." First up, "I got robbed" Force India duo of Adrian Sutil and Paul di Resta. Then, "You owe me one" Mercedes teammates, Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg. Lastly, the main event, Red Bull gives you wild wings with Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber, guest starring Christian Horner. We'll also include historic highlights of McLaren's best teammate moments -- Senna vs. Prost and Hamilton vs. Alonso. (Dr. Phil has refused to appear, fearing his reputation will be destroyed.)

EVENT: Hot. Muggy. Sticky. Downpours. This is one F1 event we never cared to attend.

QUALIFYING: Rain strikes again, Vettel displays his mastery, Massa outqualifies Alonso for the fourth straight time, and di Resta becomes a spinning top.

RACE: From a fan's perspective, forget about the team orders. That was one great, memorable fight for the lead.

TRACK: The original Hermann Tilke design is proving to be competitive over the years.

START: Amazingly clean consider the wet conditions, Alonso begins his demise, Webber actually gains positions, and Massa is solid once again.

VETTEL: Make no mistake about it. This was not a fair fight. Webber thought the racing had ceased. Sebastian is the definition of a sucker punch.

WEBBER: How Mark restrained from knocking his teammate off the track is beyond us. But, let's not forget, Webber is not all innocent in this affair. As Horner said, this goes back to Brazil.

RED BULL: Do the bosses have the balls to show everyone who is really in charge? Will they actually suspend Vettel for a race? Or will they continue to allow the inmates to run the asylum?

HAMILTON: We here at Deep Throttle headquarters joked before the season, how long would it take before Lewis pulls into the McLaren pits. But, it was a joke. A joke! We didn't think he actually would do it.

ROSBERG: Yes, Nico is owed one.

MERCEDES: The Germans know how to keep order on a team, unlike the Austrians.

MASSA: Felipe is having a very strong start. It's nice to see.

ALONSO: Losing points now is just as detrimental as losing points at the end of the season, especially when you know it's going to be a tight year.

FERRARI: Messed up the call on Alonso, but at least they know they are more competitive than they were last year at this time.

RAIKKONEN: The conditions didn't enable Kimi to repeat Australia.

GROSJEAN: Much better, but still not there, yet. Though, a daring pass on Hulkenberg was great to watch.

LOTUS: An old Renault chassis used by Pirelli for tire testing is actually an advantage for Lotus? We're skeptical.

MCLAREN: Back to their old woeful pitstops. But, they must be chuckling over the other teams having all the driver discord issues for a change.

FORCE INDIA: Worst. Pitstops. Ever.

HULKENBERG: From a DNS to four points. Well, there was only one direction Nico could go.

MALDONADO: Another race. Another sand trap.

WORD OF THE WEEKEND: Dissent.

STAT OF THE WEEKEND: 21 -- The engine map settings for the Red Bull to tone the engine down and bring it home safely.

HISTORICAL STAT OF THE WEEKEND: One can't help but think back to the 1982 San Marino GP, when a teammate row might have caused a fatality. From Gilles Villeneuve's viewpoint, Didier Pironi ignored team orders, passing his Ferrari teammate late for the win. The following race, Villeneuve was hell-bent on squashing his teammate. During qualifying at Zolder, trying to beat Pironi's time, Villeneuve, going all out, chose the wrong side to pass a slower car, launching him into the fateful encounter with a guardrail.

QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND: Christian Horner to Sebastian Vettel, "This is silly, Seb."

QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND RUNNERUP: Sebastian Vettel's race engineer after the checkered flag, "There'll be some explaining to do."

SCHEDULE: Some teams are going to love the three week break. The press will easily fill that void with one juicy story after another. Us fans can't wait till China arrives.

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