1999 U.S. 500 Thoughts
TRACK: The higher banking and multiple grooves make this track slightly better in the
excitement category for the Handford Device than California.
RACE: Don't forget to breath ... don't forget to breath ... don't forget to breath.
KANAAN: Pay back for Long Beach from the racing gods. But next time Tony, don't lift.
PAPIS: There's nothing you can say.
LAST LAP: Papis has it in the bag. Kanaan, easy second. Montoya on the podium. Look
at this battle for fourth. Where's Papis? Kanaan's losing it. What a run by Montoya. Good
heavens. Tracy. Andretti. Franchitti. What's going on with them? Who won? What happened?
Where? What? Huh? ... Could I see a replay, please?
MONTOYA: Yeah, he's good, but wait till he gets on a street circuit ... Well, those
bullrings will teach him ... Okay, fine, but those superspeedways will really humble him. Yeah,
whatever you say.
UNSER JR.: The just-like-the-good-old-days run was fun while it lasted.
TOYOTA: They finally got consistent top ten competitive speed. But c'mon, raise your
hand if you honestly thought any of them would last 500 miles.
BATTLES: Top three battles in no particular order -- 1) Andretti/Montoya which seemed
to last forever, 2) Andretti/Franchitti/Tracy for what ultimately was for third place, and 3)
the strangest one of all and one that the TV cameras never followed, Carpentier/Jones, who were
stuck together like super glue that even a pit stop couldn't separate, and yet they weren't even
on the same lap.
VASSER: Even Superman can't fly when running on empty.
MORENO: Finally had some bad luck at possibly his last stint with PacWest. Could he be
back next year?
BARRON: Ran strong in his Penske debut before running afoul of the pit speed limit, poor
pit strategy, and failed air jacks.
TURN 2: That wall needs a lot of new white paint.
TEAM RAHAL: No excuse! When you are having dash readout problems, hold a huge lead, are
able to pull away at a pace of 2/10ths a second per lap, you take the extra time to make sure the
fuel cell is topped off. Team Rahal wins the Lobotomy of the Week award.
HOGAN RACING: Time to take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and get back to doing what
worked at the beginning of the season.
TEAM GORDON: If you thought this team couldn't get any worse, you were wrong. They have
become outright pathetic. Slower than Vitolo?! The IRL is no longer an option for these guys.
VITOLO: He scored points. Two points, no less. Really. I'm not joking. Dennis Vitolo
scored championship points. Honest. You can look it up yourself. Quit laughing. I'm serious.
Vitolo really scored some points!
QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND: Tony Kanaan on the developments of the last lap, "I was surprised
at first, and then after that I said, 'Hey, see ya, Max.'"
QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND RUNNERUP: Max Papis on his feelings as his car coasted to a stop,
"I said many bad words in Italian that I cannot repeat."
SCHEDULE: We go from the race with the most passes to the race where you pass out from
shock if you actually see a pass. Anywhere in the field. Pray for rain in Detroit to make things
Copyright © 1999 by Deep Throttle. All Rights Reserved.
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