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Press Releases Dated April 1

You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension -- a dimension of hoopla, a dimension of fancy, a dimension of spin. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of fact and fiction. You've just crossed over into The PR Zone.

We here at Deep Throttle just got to see a bunch of press releases dated April 1.

Bernie Ecclestone releases a two word press release: "Never mind."

Bruno Junqueira lists his favorite driver as Mario Haberfeld.

Rodolfo Lavin's press release uses the word fast no less than 18 times.

Paul Tracy's dream is to have dinner with Tony George.

Adrian Fernandez one day wishes to run for President of Mexico ... with Mario Dominguez as his Vice President.

Robert Moreno announces a new personal sponsor -- Kleenex.

It was announced that Joel Camathias will now be called Swiss Lightning.

Alex Yoong announces that he has bought the entire CART series, and said, "I am so happy to be given this opportunity."

Michel Jourdain believes he is just one step away from greatness, and that step is being less aggressive.

Christian Fittipaldi is quoted as saying he is so happy he made the move to stock cars.

Denver and Miami jointly announce they will have newly paved roads for their street races.

Patrick Carpentier says he needs to do better, so he announces that his job is on the line.

Sebastien Bourdais has told his team he refuses to ever make a pit stop again.

Bridgestone announces that they also want to promote the Firestone and Dayton line of tires, and thus split the field into thirds for each respective product line. Simultaneously, Ford announces they want to promote their other car makes in the CART series. CART renames their series the Bridgestone, Firestone, and Dayton Present the Champ Car World Series Powered by Ford, Lincoln, Mercury, Jaguar, Mazda, Volvo, Land Rover, and Aston Martin.

Deep Throttle announces they will be covering the IRL exclusively.

Like headlines on the checkout counter newspapers, this is the PR Zone.

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