So, what if the PGA ran tournaments like NASCAR ran races? What the heck would they do with Tiger Woods? He obviously is winning more than his fair share of the tournaments. Obviously, he has an equipment advantage. Perhaps he tests ... er ... practices more than the other teams can afford. So, what should we obviously do with the rules to level the playing field a bit?

Potential Solutions:

• Force Tiger to tee off 10 yards further back than the rest of the players.
• Prevent Tiger from playing more than 9 holes of non-tournament related golf per month.
• Adjust the angle of all his irons and woods to reduce his distance advantage.
• Change his golf ball to a ping-pong ball. It would still be acceptable to put his ball sponsor's logo on the ping-pong ball. As a matter of fact, we'll require his usual ball supplier to supply the ping-pong balls, but they will have to supply 1000 of them to the PGA for flight testing in the wind tunnel.
• Replace his normal caddie with Dr. Jerry Punch. This sport's all about the driver ... er ... golfer anyway. It doesn't matter who the crew chief ... er ... caddie is anyway. Jerry would be good for publicity.

Think that would degrade golf as a sport? The same line of thinking supposedly makes NASCAR a more compelling sport.

Copyright © 1999 by Doug Seim and Deep Throttle. All Rights Reserved.