Are George Bush and Tony George Twins Separated At Birth?
One has to wonder. The similarities between the President of the United States, George Bush, and the president of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, Tony George, are unnerving. And, we're not just talking about the fact they share the name George.
Both were born into a life of privilege. Tony George was born into one of the richest families in the Midwest. George Bush entered life into a rich Texas family.
Both came from a previous generation that made their mark from World War II. Tony George's grandfather, Tony Hulman, turned IMS around after purchasing the Speedway after years of neglect during WWII. George Bush's father was a war hero, shot down over the Pacific, and rose to prominence in politics.
Both spent their youth partying with mind altering substances. Tony George's use of cocaine became public knowledge in court documents during his divorce proceedings. George Bush has acknowledged his fondness of alcohol during his younger years.
Neither were particularly successful before going into their family's business. Tony George's attempts at becoming a race car driver was nothing more than a midpack effort in Indy Lights (then, the American Racing Series) while driving for his godfather's team, A.J. Foyt. George Bush's attempts at being a businessman didn't excite the editors of Forbes magazine, and his only publicly visible deed was firing manager Bobby Valentine when he owned the Texas Rangers.
Both finally arrived in the public's eye by riding the coattails of their family's name. Tony George took over the top spot at IMS simply because he was the only male left in his family, and his sisters did not care for the job. George Bush parlayed the success of his father and his Texas roots to become Governor of the Lone Star State, and then took over as the Republican's favorite presidential candidate simply because he was the only possible choice that could garner the fund raising and public perception necessary to beat the Democrats.
Both are considered to be lesser intelligent men (whose supporters hold their breath every time they make an unscripted public statement) who have been manipulated by those around them fighting an old battle. It is alleged that Tony George was swayed by the "Old Guard" still stewing over the revolt by the team owners who formed CART and changed the direction of open wheel racing. It is alleged that George Bush was swayed by those still wishing that the job in Iraq had been "completed" back in 1991.
Both never learned from their predecessors who knew when it was best to shy away from a fight. Tony George's grandfather knew when it was no longer worth fighting CART and lived with an uneasy peace so the greater good of IMS and the sport could be fulfilled. George Bush's father knew when it was no longer worth continuing to fight Iraq once they were kicked out of Kuwait and lived with an uneasy peace so the greater good of the country and the Middle East could be fulfilled.
Both apparently had destructive agendas from day one. Soon after Tony George took over IMS, he proposed to CART a plan that would essentially have him take over the sport, dumping the goals of the team owners. He later used Penske's Mercedes killer engine as the impetus to go ahead and form the IRL in an attempt to take over open wheel racing. George Bush, soon after taking office, allegedly looked for a reason to topple Saddam Hussein. He used the events of September 11 as the impetus to go ahead with those plans.
Both are unable to realize their goals and vision are not working. Tony George is unwilling to admit that declining attendance, empty stands on Pole Day, and rapidly falling ratings of the Indianapolis 500 have anything to do with his actions in splitting the sport and forming the IRL, while his minions spout off one ridiculously glowing press release after another. George Bush is unwilling to admit the inability to create stability in Iraq, the formation of terror cells in a country where they didn't exist before, and the rapidly declining opinion of the United States by the rest of the world had anything to do with his actions in splitting world opinion and attacking a country that was of little threat, while his minions spout off at one ridiculously glowing press conference after another.
However, don't assume I'm advocating the other choice. That's not necessarily any better either.
Because John Kerry reminds me of Joe Heitzler.
Copyright © 2004 by Russell Jaslow and Deep Throttle. All Rights Reserved.