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Keeping It Off the Wall
by Ed Donath

Reality Street
5/9/06

Athens, NY—If, as recounted in The Way It Is/A beautiful day masked a stark reality [re-published as hyperlinked from http://KirbyWebbsite.com], Gordon Kirby’s Long Beach experience provided a rude awakening to the devolving reality of 21st Century Champ Car racing then one might assume Mr. Kirby had been under the influence of an ether-like substance for an extended period of time.

Since I can readily attest to the fact that Mr. Kirby has retained complete control of his estimable faculties and talents as a constant observer of American open-wheel racing over the last 30+ years, there must be some other symbiotic reason for his suddenly jumping on the reality bandwagon at this juncture. For, as the most honest thinkers among us are fully aware, Gordon Kirby long ago assumed the role of the Champ Car Company’s leading professional propagandist.

In his piece Kirby literarily states: “The Champ Car race in Long Beach revealed the fragility of having a field of just eighteen cars. A multi-car crash at the first turn eliminated Paul Tracy, Oriol Servia, Bruno Junqueira and A.J. Allmendinger, all of them potential race winners and championship contenders. The accident removed any drama from the race as Justin Wilson was the only remaining driver capable of keeping Sebastien Bourdais in sight…”

Three weeks earlier our own Lisa Davidson made an almost identical entry in her Long Beach Diary: Day Three.

Since this renegade scribe was quick to let Lisa—a stalwart fellow fan who, unfortunately, was covering her beloved “home” race when reality burst her dream bubble—know that she had objectively hit the nail right on the head with her on-point observations, I feel compelled to forward the very same complimentary e-mail message to our newly-realized pal Gordo:

<<<Lisa wrote: “The real problem with that pitiless first turn accident is that it laid bare the exceeding thinness of the field. It wasn’t just that only 18 cars started the race, it’s that only a handful of these stand any chance of winning a race. And, there were several top finishers who only barely have rides or who will likely have them a very short time...”>>>

Lisa-

Now imagine that you're watching the race on TV at home. You're annoyed that arena football has run into green flag time, you've had an inhumanly large bowl of home-made clams fra diavolo con habaneros, home-baked I-talian bread and a couple of glasses of Bardolino and, because there's so little action after the lap-one schlemazel, all you hear is Derek Daly's incessant, incoherent, brogue-blather. Then they interview a hapless Bruno Junqueira who is trying his best not to whine (he must have heard one of the Andrettis talking the night before and the light bulb finally lit).

Talk about fighting off the urge to snooze!

In any case, you have read way too many Donath rants and have totally lost your sense of political correctness. You get it girl. I love it!

Send my love to all the lefties.

-Ed

Road Rage! An op-ed feature by Ed Donath.

Copyright © 2006 by Ed Donath and Deep Throttle. All Rights Reserved.

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