“Hello again Champ Car racing fans…Todd Wickerbill here welcoming you to another edition of Way Behind the Scenes in CΛRT. Let’s pause for this brief message before we kick off tonight’s Nostalgia-thon…

“Folks, have you ever thought of running your own business? Perhaps, from time to time, you’ve even had entrepreneurial aspirations relative to our beloved speed sport? Well, now you not only have the opportunity to purchase Championship Auto Racing Teams—and to do anything you see fit with it—but you can pretty much name your own price, to boot!

“That’s right…you could own CΛRT just in time to create the ‘04 racing season of your dreams for perhaps as low as only fifty-one cents a share—barely 1% of what the stock traded for on the prestigious New York Stock Exchange shortly after the IPO in 1998!

“Forget about those Internet auctions where they brag that bidding starts at $1.00. As you probably know, the only offer that has actually been declined thus far by the Champ Car Company’s board was a proposal of 50 cents per share. So the door is definitely wide open now for your just-slightly higher bids.

“Remember, too, that the consortium that proffered the half-a-buck-a-share initial offer has pretty much pledged that it would back off, should a potential buyer come along with a more substantial offer to MPH’s stockholders. You certainly have to believe that if no new offers follow on the heels of the first one, then your bid could be just as acceptable as anyone else’s!

“Yes folks, this is truly the Champ Car racing fan’s business opportunity of a lifetime. Just picture yourself sitting at Chris Pook’s desk…or perhaps you’d rather be a hands-on type owner who lines up the transporters as they arrive in the paddock during race weekends…or you could double as the Chief Steward, flagman, PR/marketing guy—whatever your heart desires!

“Folks, the possibilities—and the potential earnings—are truly limitless. But you’ve got to act now before it all slips away. Remember: If you snooze, you lose…and this kind of unique opportunity might never present itself again. You’ve got to pull the trigger on this deal today!

“So if you or a group of your cronies are ready for the challenges of running your own open-wheel racing series, send your offer in writing to:

Championship Auto Racing Teams
c/o Board of Directors
5350 Lakeview Parkway South Drive
Indianapolis, Indiana 46268

“Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Void where prohibited by law. Member SEC.

“All right folks, now it’s time to resume our regular programming. Our guests this evening include Tero Palmroth, Mimmo Schiatarella, Howdy Holmes, and David Kudrave. And, of course, there will be a few surprise guests, as well…”

Copyright © 2003 by Ed Donath and Deep Throttle. All Rights Reserved.